How do you feel when you have to share something that matters the most to you? That’s exactly what the older sibling goes through during your second pregnancy and after the child birth. Most children during the birth of their younger sibling are in kindergarten or are too young to crave anything more than their parents’ complete attention and care.
If parents themselves are worried during the birth of their second child about not being able to give similar attention, love, care and time to both, what the first child must be going through is impossible to imagine.
They go through the feeling of losing everything they have, causing them to get angry and restless. The transition could have appalling impacts if not handled right.
To solve a problem it’s important to know what causes it. Below are the problems and solutions to your first child’s distress.
Readiness to accept
Don’t let your child feel that he/she is losing everything to a stranger all of a sudden. You wouldn’t want your child to get depressed with that thought, would you?
Right from when you conceive start telling that someone very young is about to arrive. Tell them that the new child doesn’t know anything like the way they do, so you will need their help to teach everything to the new baby.
Involve them and start arranging and gathering things for the new child. Buy or arrange everything of the older child’s choice so that they feel important and responsible.
Time to share
Be it your love and attention or the chocolates and snacks that your relatives or guests bought when they came home, they have had it all. It would be the first time that you teach them what it feels to share and derive happiness from it. It will help the kid develop a loving relationship with their new sibling, creating a harmonious family.
Instead of expecting the little one to understand everything at once, it wouldn’t be wrong if you bribed them a little to avoid sibling rivalry. Tell them how the new sibling is going to depend on them for everything. That the more they share and the more helpful they are, more will be the number of secret gifts their angels send to them. Keep a gift near their pillow while they sleep, even if it’s just a chocolate.
It’s natural that you will have to spend most of your time taking care of the newly born. But it’s also natural for your child to feel jealous and hurt the new born or break things out of insecurity. Try not to scold them or beat them when they do so. It will only fuel their dislike towards the new born and could cause a lifelong sibling rivalry.
Talk to them lovingly and spend some time with them instead. Talk to them about their problems; make them understand yours and promise to spend time with them every day. Involve them in taking care of the new born so that they feel that they are with you throughout.